Jewish Wedding Traditions in Biblical Times

This post may not be all that interesting to most people.  However, I wanted to go ahead and provide it as background for some of the future posts that I am considering/praying about.   I am finding that some of the teachings and story's in the Bible are much easier to understand if we have a better understanding of the traditions the Jewish people had around marriage and marriage ceremonies in Biblical times.   This doesn’t include all of the information I found but includes a great deal of it.

Hopefully you find this material interesting.   I know that I learned a great deal in doing the research and putting it together.

Jewish Marriage and Wedding Customs in Biblical Times

It all starts with the Betrothal process.   The Betrothal process involves the establishment of a marriage covenant or contract.  By Jesus' time it was common for the marriage covenant to be initiated by the bride groom.  To establish the marriage covenant, the bridge groom traveled from his father's house to the home of the prospective bride.  There he would determine / negotiate the price he must pay to purchase the bride.   This price was known as the Mohar.

NOTE: The Mohar is a gift paid by the groom to the bride's family.  It ultimately belongs to the bride and changed her status and set her free from her parents household.   It was customary for a father to either give the entire Mohar or a portion of it to his daughter.   A father who kept the entire Mohar for himself was considered to be unkind and harsh.  

Anthropologists call the Mohar a gift or “bridewealth.” It is found in many societies throughout the world and is not considered a sale by people in those cultures—Israelite wives were not thought of as slaves in biblical texts.

The portion of the Mohar the bride received from her father were not the only possessions she brought into the marriage.   It was also common for a rich father to give his daughter land as well as female slaves.

Once the Mohar had been paid, the marriage covenant was established.   At this time, they were considered to be husband and wife.   From this moment on, the bride was declared consecrated or sanctified (set apart) exclusively for her groom.  As a symbol of the covenant relationship, the bride and groom would drink from a cup of wine over which a betrothal benediction had been pronounced.
In the marriage covenant, the groom promises to love and care for his bride and give himself for her.   He has also paid the Mohar for his bride.   The bride promises to pay her dowry - her financial status - that of her yielded life and keep herself for him.  It was also customary for the groom to give his wife a gift known as a Mattan.   The Mattan was to remind her of him while they were apart for the next 12 months.

With the covenant established, the groom would leave and return to his father's house.  This time allowed the bride to gather her Trousseau and prepare for married life.   The Trousseau are the clothes, household linens and other belongings collected by the bride for her marriage.   While the bride was preparing herself and gathering her Trousseau, the groom spent his time preparing a place for he and his wife to live in his father's house.

In biblical times the groom most often did not build a new home.  Rather he would add additional rooms to his father's existing home.   It was also customary for the Rabbi's to determine that the place to which the bride was to be taken be better than the place where she had lived previously.

It was not up to the groom to determine when the place he was preparing was ready.   His father would make that determination and give the go ahead for the groom to go and receive his bride.

At the end of the twelve months and after the grooms father had determined that the place was ready, the groom would come to take his bride.  This usually took place at night.   The groom, best man and other escorts would leave the groom's father's house and conduct a torch light procession to the home of the bride.

The bride took the betrothal process seriously and while she know the approximate time her groom would come for her, the exact hour or day was uncertain.  As a result, it was customary for the groom's party to go ahead of the groom and shout "Behold!  The bridegroom comes!"

This would be followed by the sounding of the Shofar, a musical horn made from ram's horn.

At the sounding of the Shofar, the entire wedding processional would go through the streets of the city to the bride's house.   The groomsmen would again setup the Huppah.

Within the Huppah:

• The couple would say a blessing over the cup of wine.
• The ceremony finalized the promises and vows.

After the groom has received his bride and her female attendants, the enlarged wedding party returns from the bride's house to the groom's father's house.  On arrival, the wedding party find the wedding guests have already assembled.

Shortly after arrival, the bride and groom are escorted by the other members of the wedding party to the bridal chamber.   Prior to entering the chamber the bride remained veiled so no one could see her face.  While the groomsmen and bridesmaids waited outside, the bride and groom enter the bridal chamber alone.   There in the privacy of the bridal chamber, they enter into the physical union for the first time and consummate the marriage that had been Covenanted earlier.

After the marriage is consummated, the groom announces the consumption to the wedding party waiting outside the chamber.  The wedding party then passes the news of the marital union to the wedding guests.  Once the news of the marriage is consummated is received, the wedding guests feast/make merry for the next seven days.

NOTE: Family honor was of vital importance in biblical times.   The food and wine for the feast over the seven days was provided by the bride and grooms families and was freely available.   If you ran out of either it implied the host was either thoughtless or poor and would bring dishonor to the family’s name.

During the seven days of the wedding festivities, the bride remains hidden in the bridal chamber.  At the conclusion of those seven days, the groom brings out his brides - now no longer wearing her veil - so that all can see who is bride is.  Once the festivities were over, the husband was free to bring his bride to their new home to live together as husband and wife in the full covenant of marriage.

I hope you found this interesting.   I know that I found the parallels in today's christian marriage interesting and also found it very interesting that, contrary to what appears to be popular belief, great care was taken of the bride.  She wasn't considered property and, based on my research, great care was taken to ensure she was going to a better place and also had her own belongings, etc.   I'm also sure that you can see the parallels between the Jewish marriage traditions and how Jesus has claimed us all as His own - but I'm going to leave much of that discussion for future posts.

Resources
http://www.biblestudymanuals.net/jewish_marriage_customs.htm
http://messianicfellowship.50webs.com/wedding.html
http://www.myjewishlearning.com/article/ancient-jewish-marriage/